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May 3, 2012
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A Very Pixellated Fan Fic by binarystep A Very Pixellated Fan Fic by binarystep

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A Fan Fic I wrote for :iconkasumichan2003:'s contest.


I made an evil twist on the "Freaky Friday" stories.

Also, this story has a grain of truth in it. I did build a house like the one described. I'll upload an image soon.
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner May 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You do know that diamonds are the hardest substance in the world, right? In fact the only thing that can cut a diamond... is another diamond.

And your sentences were choppy. Very choppy. That made them tedious to read. Short sentences over and over. Vary your sentence lengths. Use compound and complex sentences. It makes your writing flow better.
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:iconbinarystep:
binarystep Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes, diamonds are HARD. But they are glassy, and shatter easily. Try this: Drop a diamond on the floor IRL, and see what happens. ;)

As for sentences, this is MY FIRST FAN FIC. I'm not going to be an expert at doing something for the first time. I'm only 13, for crying out loud.
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Don't get so defensive. I'm only telling you what you're doing wrong so you know what to improve on in future attempts.
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:iconbinarystep:
binarystep Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, I got the diamond thing right.
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